While my parents were here we discovered that baby boy (BB) really likes to be on his stomach. Back when I was a baby the nurses and doctors apparently told my parents that I was to sleep on my stomach. It’s a 180 degrees different now. They now believe that SIDS is caused by babies sleeping on their stomach. But I digress.
So when he’s upset either M or I will pick him up and walk around with him while he’s facing our chests. Most of the time this will calm him down, but sometimes it doesn’t.
Yesterday I came home from work and I was walking with BB and I had on a polo shirt that I had unbuttoned a bit (finally warmer her in Wyoming!). While we were walking around BB had a fit of gas which most of the time is a lot of fussing. Little did I know that he was also balling up his hand that was on my chest. And along with him making a fist a bunch of my chest hair went into his fist and I gave a slight grimace. I think this is a pleasure that only a baby can give. I’m pretty sure most chest hairs are to short for adults hands (if your into that kind of thing!). After I was out of pain and BB had let go I wondered if it was time to shave the chest until BB was old enough to not grab onto anything that he could. As of now the answer to that question is no, but if it happens to much more then the answer may quickly become yes!
For the foreseeable future M is going to be staying home with baby boy. For awhile she wanted to go back to work, in August, but I felt that it was just too soon to be sending our boy off to spend 8 hours with someone that we might not know and might not share the same views as us on parenting. Having said that I don’t really have a clear picture of what a working mom is like, but I can tell you that a stay at home mom is a working mom and M is doing a fantastic job. Our boy couldn’t have anyone better.
If you and your spouse decide to nurse (breast feed) guys you will be lucky as you will not be involved in the feeding process much anymore (there will be the occasional hot chocolate calls and help when your not going to work the next morning). For the mother of the house not so lucky. This is a full time job and maybe more. Don’t fool yourself into thinking it is anything else. Every 2.5 hours to 3 hours your child will need to be fed. As for a working mom I can only imagine trying to pump enough milk for that period of time that you are at work. For those that decide formula is the way to go, when then life gets a bit easier, but there’s still the whole preparation. M told me that she had read how much it costs for formula and if memory serves me correctly, it’s on the $3,000 to $5,000 dollar range. Yikes!
For some people it might not be possible to have a parent stay at home, but if it is possible I’d recommend putting your ego aside and having someone stay at home. I believe that the benefits outweigh the other side of the equation. M will probably go back to work in a few years, but we’ll see. Perhaps she’ll stay home until BB is school age, but I know right now I’m glad with the decision. M might not agree with me depending on how she’s feeling (tired most of the time) but in the long run I think she’ll be glad that she did.
I would take a wild guess that most dads, like myself, don’t really think about this when their baby is on the way. Your time is really cut down to basically nothing. Used to be able to play your video games? Well it’s gone. Want to get outside and work that spare tire you got hanging around your belly? Not going to happen. Now that’s probably a slight over exaggeration, but you will find yourself with less time that you used to have.
I realized this yesterday when I had lunch. M and baby boy we’re out to lunch with a friend and I was home alone by myself. After taking the dog for a walk I was fixing lunch and thought “what should I do with myself?”. I could do some writing (yes I’ve been writing…just not here!) or I could watch one of the TV shows I recorded or I could get on my computer. In the end I decided to start watching one of the TV shows I recorded, but it didn’t stop there. By making that decision I was missing out on possible writing time and whatever else I could have been doing. I’m still in the process of learning when I can and can’t do things. Luckily I can steal an hour away in the morning if all goes well, so that’s when I’ve been doing a lot of the things that I need to or want to.
Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t change this experience for anything in the world. It’s an incredible experience, challenging at times, but you’ll have to make these decisions when your new son or daughter is brought home.
Baby boy is doing well. He’s gaining weight like there’s no tomorrow, which in turn is making M a bit tired at times, but she’s an incredible mom and I keep encouraging her.
Have a great weekend everyone. I have a plan for another post and hope to post that up this weekend sometime.
The grandparents are still here and my little brother (although he’s bigger than me now!) arrived on Saturday. We now have three dogs in the house. On dog who is senile and bumps into everything and has a hard time holding his movements until he gets outside and one dog who is an uber bitch (pardon the language!). Jasper, our dog, would just like to play with someone but no one wants to play so he’s a bit disappointed, but he’s been a trooper through it all. The cats could really care less as long as they get fed and fed on time. Even this morning one of them buffaloed my dad into feeding him, so he got fed twice! Yes out cats love to eat.
With having three extra people in the house, it sometimes feels like a zoo. We go through coffee at an almost alarming rate (we are using our backup coffee maker because we’d be in the poor house if we were using the 1 cup maker!). Our fridge is probably wondering when these other people will leave because it’s packed to the brim with food and various other items. And the counters can get quite messy at times. And to think that there is a family that has 19 kids and counting. I can’t imagine what it would be like!
Despite all of this I love having family here with us. This year, I got to be with both my dad and mom for the fathers and mothers day holiday. M and I have always lived apart from family so it’s a special treat when family does come to visit. There are times when both of us think it would be great to live closer to family, but then there are times when we’d rather not. With Baby Boy here, I think both of us would like some sort of closer family, but for the moment things are not to be.
The family will be taking off bright and early tomorrow morning and I will be off to work (been working since last Thursday). M and BB will be home by themselves once again. If the weather turns nice I’d take a guess that M will take BB down to the park for a walk. And we will be back to normal…or whatever normal is now days!
My parents have been with us since last Saturday evening and it’s been great. I know some families don’t get along but we get along pretty well and it’s been a blessing to have them around.
Since they’ve been around the block twice, with my brother and I, we’ve been able to ask them questions about things we don’t or didn’t know. For instance the hospital said we should let baby boy (BB) sleep on his back, which translated into him being on his back for nearly everything. However we have discovered that he really really likes being on his stomach. So if we are holding him for whatever reason (more on that in a second) he’s usually on his stomach.
One downside, and it’s not really that much of a downside, is that I think he’s getting used to being held and when it’s time to go to bed in his bassinet…well it can be a challenge. During the day he’s almost like a hot potato going from M to grandma to grandpa and myself if he doesn’t need to be fed again. If he does then it’s back to M for more feeding and we repeat the cycle.
Lastly one of the best things, or not, is that M and I have been able to get out and do a few things while not having to worry about BB. Last Sunday morning we went shopping at Walmart and it was kind of strange to be there without him. And this Saturday night, we have been told we can have a date night. Dinner and a movie for us!! We are just having a really hard time figuring out which movie to go to!
He did get weighed again yesterday and he’s quickly approaching double his birth weight. He now weighs in at 6lbs 9.5 ounces. His birth weight was 3lbs and 13 ounces. My mom has told me that when he doubles his weight he will be the weight he was when I was born almost 34 years ago!
I hope that other daddy’s and families are able to take advantage of their parents/grandparents should they offer to help you with your young one. It does take the stress off for a bit. And with that I’ve got to get ready to go back to work. I’ve had the first 3 days of this week off and it’s been great, but now I must head back into work!
I suppose I got through the pregnancy pretty good. M didn’t have any 3 AM cravings for something that we didn’t have so I should count my blessings. However just the other night as I was reaquanting myself with my mistress known as sleep I got a wake up to go and get her something.
For over a week now I have been the lucky one that gets to sleep. M is now breast feeding baby boy full time which means I get to sleep in and sleep, my mistress has come back. It’s not back to normal, but we’ll get there eventually.
The other night M woke me up at 3 AM. The conversation and thoughts went something like this.
M: Would you go and get me some hot chocolate.
Not realizing what she was asking I said yes. I started to get up out of bed and then I sat back down thinking this had to be some sort of dream. And then I heard BB whimper a bit and I realized that it was not in fact a dream. At that point I almost said “are you serious?”, but didn’t. Instead I got up and got her the hot chocolate like a good husband does. What I should have done was pounded on the wall and told grandma and grandpa to fix some hot chocolate since they are here now, but I didn’t!
While baby boy (BB) was in the hospital one of the nurses kept asking if I’d been initiated as a dad yet. By initiation she meant if I’d been peed on by BB while changing his diaper. The answer then and the answer now is no I have not, but there have been a few close calls…but not with pee. Yeah with the other one.
BB when he’s getting ready to do his business, number 1 or 2, gets a wind up. By a wind up I mean he starts to fuss and make a lot of noise. At times it’s hard to tell if he’s hungry or if he’s just getting ready to leave us a present in his diaper. So when he does this fussiness and I know he’s been fed recently I go and change his diaper. He’s let a few things go and I think he’s done. However there’s been a couple of times that right before I’m about to undo his diaper he lets it go. Or right after I’ve done up his new diaper.
I know that one of these days I’ll be initiated, but for now I’m free. There is an upside to cleaning a fresh diaper. It’s easy to clean up from his bottom!